What a day!

Well - inspite of this stinking weather - oh, did I mention that it is only 15 degrees at 1:30 in the afternoon? Inspite of this I had a wonderful morning as I called an old friend that I have not seen in years! It must be 25 years anyway. I found her on Facebook and two days later - we are yakking it up just like it was yesterday! Can you imagine! Just great.

OK - I said I was done cooking but I am hungry. Now what? The only thing Ralphy knows how to make is pb&j and burned fried eggs. Maybe I can just put one little pot roast in the oven?

Remember when I said no Fiber One bars. I am half dead from the frigging thing. I am not kidding. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I promised to tell you about these two guys I had at Target - the one guy was drop-dead gorgeous. 6'3" maybe, graying temples, broad shoulders, sky blue eyes, great teeth, just perfect. He looked like he could have been on "Batchleor". Whew! Man, oh, man - was he handsome - I couldn't stop staring. And he was very nice. The next guy - are you ready, comes in my line and puts his stuff down. I just kept on scanning the items and, as I scanned, I noticed a Full Body Hair Wax Kit, a small round packs of rubbers, and a small jar of Vaseline. Now - how I am supposed to look at the guy and give him his change??????????????? So, I am thinking - and I looked up to give his change and I could see that he was kinda sheepish. But me, the true Target professional, kept my cool and handed him his change and said "Thanks and have a great day". I am so glad I didn't say "Thanks and have a great night!". Good God - with my mouth, you never know what I am going to blurt out.

So far, with the exception of the phone call ths morning, I have not done a thing. We had workers here this morning to look at our kitchen floor and find that they can't fix it until they take the other floor up. This would be no problem if the morons that installed it hadn't glued it down under the cupboards! Now we have to have it removed, fix and flooring underneath and then, buy new floor covering. JESUS, MARY, AND JOE - IS THERE NO END TO THIS TORMENT?? I JUST WANT TO GO ON A VACATION!!!! Everytime we think we are finally going to get to go someplace - there is another snafu.

Stick a fork in me......I'm done!

Cooking, that is. I quit!

Tonight was the last straw. I thought - hmmmmm - I have a few hours, I think I will roast a dandy of a chicken and make a new vegetable (one that doesn't say Green Giant Steamers on it). So, I went to the store and purchased a fricking chicken. It was $11.00 - not that the price is important, BUT... Then, I spied a very fresh looking cauliflower thinking that Ralphy might like it, so what the heck. I saw a nice recipe in one of my Barefoot books for a cauliflower gratin and, with knife in hand, I began the preparation for the feast.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that while contemplating the big purchase I was practically hurling. You see, I am not a roasted chicken kind of a girl. I have flashbacks to when we used to raise the dirty things and "you mean I have to actually EAT this now?" Also, just thinking of sticking my lily white hands into the carcass of this lousy thing just turns my stomach. I am not joking here, girls.

Anyway, I cleaned the thing and got her all ready to go. I put some salt, pepper, garlic cloves in there. I parboiled the cauliflower and began to make the cheese sauce. I melted the creamy butter, heated the milk, and then I put the thickening flour into the milk instead of the butter. That was about my third mistake. I figured it probably wouldn't matter much and continued to stir the clumped, watery milk. I shredded the cheese (not the right one) and mixed it with the parmasean and put it in the water. Here is where I had to stand back. Now I have this clumpy, watery, cheese-smelling pissy water ready to go into the cauliflower that smells like you-know-what.

So - there I was. Chicken in the oven, cauliflower with the pissy water in the baking dish and we are ready to go!

GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN!!!!!!!!

I plated it up and we sat down to eat. Well - we kinda just looked at each other. Ralphy is a sweetheart and told me that it "wasn't that bad" and then we proceeded to quadruple bag the entire dinner and take it out to the garage. Thank God it will be freezing cold tonight so that we don't get rats coming around or something. Ralphy is going to "drop it off" tomorrow on the way to work. I am not to ask any questions.

So, my friends, I am really done. I will never, ever, ever buy another chicken again. Ever. Nor will I ever buy another one of those big white things.

Frozen and prepared foods are now my new best friends.

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Have you had one of those Fiber One bars? Oh my God - DON'T! I had one for lunch two days ago and I am still not right. You absolutely cannot eat a Fiber One bar after the age of sixty. Trust me on this one.

Wait til tomorrow when I tell you about the two customers I had at Target........

Love

No go..

I get the sense that no one is reading my blog. Is that true?

Can you cough once if you are reading?

If not, I am going to sign off for good.

Thank you and good night.

Love